Sharing the love...

We TRY to teach our children the value of SHARING....But it always ends up like this!

Can you relate.....

Tiger Reunion

This weekend was my hubby's Tiger Reunion! 

It was located here, in the middle of nowhere-ville.  If you plan it they will come.....

And come they did.  Some wearing these, poor girl had to work the pole later.  She came dressed and ready.  Unfortunately, this particular dance hall does not have a pole or we would have seen a show.

Most of them carried in this.  Because, that's what you do in the middle of nowhere-ville.  Especially since you haven't seen some of these people for 26 years.  I loved that my college professor was there and he remembered me from 11 years ago....awkward.  And he got a great discount at the book store, because he was wearing an alumni t-shirt and drinking from a coozie with said university and don't forget that university class ring.    Just in case you get memory lapse as to what university he is at...(FYI -he is a really great guy, I'm just giving him a hard time :)....

We left before this happened.  And yes, it did happen

It was great seeing friends- some old, some new, some changed and some grew....and a lot need Jesus or electric-shock therapy!

Spring is here!

Spring is here.  You know how I know....this little guy showed up at my garden gate this week.

My tomatoes are planted.  I am aware that is NOT a tomato in the background.  Katie planted pumpkins and one decided to pop up.  Which now means he will be relocated to a nice pumpkin family plot. 

 Oh yes, and these pesky guys are coming out to: cattails for you non-locals.  Which means my truck will be covered for weeks with a new color coating...yellow.  Sorry allergy sufferers, oak pollen a comin'!

These little beauty's are yet to be planted.  And as soon as I do all the deer will show up (even though I haven't seen them ALL season) and eat them.  Its like a dinner magnet.  I should lease out my front porch for deer hunters.  Look for an ad soon, I'll even throw in snacks and beer.

And the hound dog can't stay out of the lake.  He thinks he can swim, he only sinks (he does wear his floatation device)... and then stinks...and then needs a bath.  Rinse, lather and repeat. 

Shake

S-L-U-R-P.....can we go to the lake again!

Get out and enjoy the outdoors and don't forget to  Live out Loud!

20 things about Clayton

20.  Loves the color green
19.  Thinks he is nocturnal
18.  Compassionate
17.  Hates green beans
16.  Loves math and science
15.  Star wars fan
14.  Wants to be a fireman or be in construction or a snake wrangler when he grows up
13.  University of Texas fan
12.  Favorite sports are football and baseball
11.  Can beat his parents in Wii bowling
10.  Loves ice cream-mint chocolate chip is his favorite
9.  Named our cat Orange after the color orange
8.  His best friend is Cade.
7.  Still has dimples
6.  He is 4' ft 3" inches
5.  Favorite quote is from the Genie in Aladdin  "OK, you baaaaaad    boy"
4.  He received the MVP and the Sneaky Center Award in football
3.  Loves roller coasters
2.  The name Clayton means:  town of clay or southern rogue.  ( I prefer the southern rogue version)
1.  Love the fact he made us parents!  He is one super-duper 8 year old!

Someone pass me a Kleenex...

Because my baby is turning 8 tomorrow.  I get all weepy when my kids get a year older.  It means that they are growing up.  But I swear he was just like this yesterday!   

This is what 7 (soon to be 8) is all about. 

365 Tips For Parents

365 Tips For Parents


#001: Cut off the crusts.
#002: Make real cocoa.
#003: Hang their drawings on the fridge.
#004: Say the clay ashtray is what you always wanted.
#005: Sing silly songs.
#006: Make goofy faces.
#007: Let them take off the training wheels.
#008: Remind the Tooth Fairy about inflation.
#009: Buy a good stain remover.
#010: Let them keep the kitten.
#011: Remember when YOU misbehaved.
#012: If you don't know, say so.
#013: Let grandma spoil them.
#014: Let them stay up just a little bit longer.
#015: Lock up the good china.
#016: Tickle.
#017: Be a good sport.
#018: Be a good friend.
#019: Smile when your mother-in-law gives you advice.
#020: ALL mothers are working mothers.
#021: Ultimatums don't work.
#022: Bribes work.
#023: Hysteria will get you nowhere.
#024: Their first summer at camp is murder.
#025: Let them lick the spoon.
#026: Learn lots of lullabies.
#027: Breastfeeding in public goes over better in Europe.
#028: Learn to handle sleep deprivation.
#029: Have an answer ready for "Where do babies come from?"
#030: Don't flinch when they grow taller than you.
#031: Going to college don't mean they won't come back.
#032: Don't teach them to parallel park.
#033: Be consistent.
#034: Think quick.
#035: Improvise.
#036: Sympathize.
#037: Remember: It's just a phase.
#038: "Wait till your father gets home" is a cop-out.
#039: "Because I said so" is a good reason.
#040: Never tell them how much they'll inherit.
#041: Teach them four precious words: "We can't afford it.".
#042: Carry Wash'n Dri.
#043: Smile when you change that diaper.
#044: It's absolutely okay to say "No".
#045: Buy chunky peanut butter in jumbo jars.
#046: Run a credit line at the toy store.
#047: Forget suede.
#048: Teachers ARE underpaid.
#049: Learn the rules of football.
#050: Teach them to write thank you notes.
#051: Your teenage daughter WILL find you embarrassing.
#052: Cheese food is not cheese.
#053: Thirteen is too late to put them up for adoption.
#054: Potty training builds character (yours).
#055: Sibling rivalry builds character (theirs).
#056: Worry, worry, worry.
#057: Childbirth is not for wimps.
#058: Stretch marks are a badge of honor.
#059: Half your brain leaves with the placenta.
#060: Donate pre-pregnancy jeans to charity.
#061: Don't read the label on baby formula.
#062: With luck, they'll call you once a week when they leave.
#063: With luck, they won't call collect.
#064: With luck, they'll pay for their own therapy when grown.
#065: No matter what, they'll always be your babies.
#066: The older they get, the wiser you'll seem.
#067: Just when you've got them figured out, they change.
#068: Kiss it an make it better.
#069: Make ice cube popsicles.
#070: If you promised, do it.
#071: Watch what you promise.
#072: When in doubt, say "We'll see."
#073: Bunk beds are cool.
#074: You'll sometimes act just like YOUR mother.
#075: Buy Permapress.
#076: Use the honor system.
#077: You can only shoot so much videotape.
#078: Pose good questions.
#079: Colic happens.
#080: Cowlicks happen.
#081: Look what being a martyr got Joan of Arc.
#082: A dishwasher is not a luxury.
#083: The new math is harder than the old math.
#084: Let's hear it for leftovers.
#085: Don't leave their teddy bear behind.
#086: Learn to make daisy chains.
#087: Not everyone can be a valedictorian.
#088: They're never too old to scold.
#089: They're never too big to hug.
#090: They're never too smart to receive some good advice.
#091: They're never too rich to take home your leftovers.
#092: Don't remind your grown son you changed his diapers.
#093: If they grow up to be doctors, take the credit.
#094: If they grow up to be lawyers, don't take the blame.
#095: If they become pro-athletes, take the house & car.
#096: If they become politicians they were switched at birth.
#097: Don't teach the kids your fear of bugs.
#098: Take them to a petting zoo.
#099: Don't use a pediatrician who isn't a parent.
#100: You can never have too many Kleenex.
#101: Reserve the New Year's Eve babysitter on January 2.
#102: You can blame just about anything on teething.
#103: Some of the great minds of our time were bed wetters.
#104: Let someone else break the news about Santa Claus.
#105: Not everyone can win the Pillsbury Bake-Off.
#106: Iodine really DOES sting.
#107: Mother's Day comes but once a year--milk it.
#108: Adjust allowances for cost of living.
#109: Cookie dough is better than cookies.
#110: Don't let the kids forget Father's Day.
#111: Tie their mittens together.
#112: When they say they've got to go, stop!
#113: An unmade bed is easier to get into.
#114: Prove there's no monster under the bed.
#115: Hugs are the antidotes to nightmares.
#116: Don't put their favorite blankie in the wash.
#117: Disney World is not optional.
#118: A little fast food never killed anyone.
#119: They already know more about computers than you do.
#120: Even George Bush didn't eat his broccoli.
#121: Teach the kids to recycle.
#122: Someday your son will love another woman.
#123: When they leave home, you'll actually miss them.
#124: Whatever your age, you're too young to be a grandma.
#125: The more they tease you, the more you're loved.
#126: Always make their favorite dish when they visit.
#127: Believe it or not, SATs aren't everything.
#128: Yes, it's important they wear what their friends wear.
#129: Teenagers are SUPPOSED to dress goofy.
#130: Yes, we're all tired of dinosaurs.
#131: Anyone can make a secret special sauce.
#132: Buy them a globe.
#133: Socks and underwear are not gifts.
#134: Ear thermometers beat rectal any day.
#135: Hide old toys and reintroduce them next week.
#136: Bribe the babysitter with Hagen-Dazs.
#137: No matter what, your son will wind up with a toy gun.
#138: No matter what, your daughter will want Barbie.
#139: No matter what, you will memorize GOOD NIGHT MOON.
#140: Puberty was hell for you too.
#141: They'll always bring home their laundry.
#142: Courage.
#143: Grace doesn't count unless it's under pressure.
#144: Many geniuses were late bloomers.
#145: When you retire, feel free to spend their inheritance.
#146: Hold their hands.
#147: Look encouraging at the dentist.
#148: Don't give your son a crew cut.
#149: "Bambi" is too scary for five-year olds.
#150: Froot Loops are NOT a balanced meal.
#151: Yes, they need all sixty-four Crayolas.
#152: No, they can't have a pony.
#153: Chicken soup couldn't hurt.
#154: Keep the cookie jar full.
#155: Tuck them in.
#156: Add sound effects to the bedtime story.
#157: No, they REALLY can't have a pony.
#158: Gingerbread houses aren't worth the work.
#159: Tollhouse cookies ARE worth the work.
#160: Put plenty of icing on birthday cakes.
#161: Don't tell you helped blow out the candles.
#162: Kids give more gifts than they'll receive.
#163: Kids WILL drink straight from the carton.
#164: Look sad when the snowman melts.
#165: Kids prefer hot dogs to duck a l'orange.
#166: A sense of humor is a necessity.
#167: They don't call it women's intuition for nothing.
#168: Insist on short-haired dogs.
#169: Coax the cat out of the tree.
#170: For the last time, a pony is out!
#171: Sew name tags in their underwear.
#172: Be a den mother.
#173: Let your daughter have a training bra.
#174: Buy your share of EXPENSIVE Girl Scout cookies
#175: Cultivate the art of napping.
#176: Washable markers aren't.
#177: Help build a sandcastle.
#178: Let them make a fort out of boxes.
#179: Piano lessons aren't for everyone.
#180: Tell Dad to share the toy trains.
#181: Tell your daughter she CAN be a fire fighter.
#182: Host a slumber party.
#183: Don't hover.
#184: Childhood doesn't go as fast as they say.
#185: Don't make your twelve-year-old shop for underwear.
#186: Take snapshots on the first day of school.
#187: Help carve a pumpkin.
#188: Sail paper airplanes.
#189: Teach them to whistle.
#190: Volunteer for class trips.
#191: Join the PTA.
#192: Don't panic.
#193: Hunt for four-leaf clovers.
#194: Befriend other mothers.
#195: Don't let kids record answering machine messages.
#196: Scotchguard everything.
#197: There's a little Martha Stewart in all of us.
#198: Never use the check-out with the candy display.
#199: All car trip diversions last three minutes.
#200: Snowsuits induce the desire to go to the bathroom.
#201: Let them eat Oreos inside-out
#202: Be ready when kids ask "What were the Beatles?".
#203: You did SO do that at their ages.
#204: The more solemn the moment, the louder they cry.
#205: Kids get dirty quicker on more important occasions.
#206: Don't take kids grocery shopping on empty stomachs.
#207: Forget your moral objections to pacifiers.
#208: Forbidden junk food will be eaten at neighbor's house.
#209: Prohibited TV shows will be watched at neighbor's home.
#210: Tell know-it-alls: Mind your own business.
#211: Put a lock on your bedroom door.
#212: Trust your instincts.
#213: Occasionally you WILL use the TV as a babysitter.
#214: If they won't clean their plates, use smaller plates.
#215: Pack school lunches with good trading items.
#216: There's a lot of wisdom in MAD magazine.
#217: Don't flush the fish.
#218: Let them eat cake.
#219: Let them eat animal crackers.
#220: Keep smiling.
#221: There's no escaping car pools.
#222: Yes, they'll need braces.
#223: Yes, they'll need stitches.
#224: Guilt is an art form.
#225: Curfews are made to be broken.
#226: Dry their tears.
#227: Play Name the State Capitals.
#228: Teach them to read maps.
#229: Do a jigsaw puzzle together.
#230: Ask only that they try their best.
#231: Your son's wife will not be pretty enough.
#232: Your daughter's husband will not earn enough.
#233: When they have kids, they'll REALLY appreciate you.
#234: Grandchildren are for spoiling.
#235: Transfer old home movies to video.
#236: Make lemonade from real lemons.
#237: It's your duty to brag.
#238: Point out that your granddaughter has your eyes.
#239: Be sure to mention that your grandson has your smile.
#240: Let your daughter think she's a better mother than you.
#241: When daughter's in labor don't say "Now you know.".
#242: Teenage daughters are hazardous to your health.
#243: Teenage sons are hazardous to their own health.
#244: How long CAN you put off the birds & bees lecture?
#245: How many times can you rewrite your will?
#246: Never buy retail.
#247: Cheer when they get their driver's licenses.
#248: Smile when they squash your Chevy.
#249: Send a care package to college.
#250: Resist the impulse to clean their dorm rooms.
#251: If they become Ivy Leaguers it's because of YOUR genes.
#252: If they're going to State, it's because of Dad's genes.
#253: Teach them to swim early.
#254: Insist on bike helmets.
#255: Learn CPR.
#256: Take them to the circus.
#257: Send an apple for the teacher.
#258: No blue hair.
#259: Remind them when it's your silver anniversary.
#260: Forbid them to put you in a nursing home.
#261: Threaten to haunt them from beyond the grave.
#262: Ask them for advice once in a while.
#263: Look humble when they say "How'd you do it, Mom?"
#264: Pass along your wedding dress to your daughter.
#265: Give Snickers at Halloween.
#266: Remember the names of their stuffed animals.
#267: Watch all the Peanuts TV specials.
#268: Buy industrial-size detergent boxes.
#269: Learn to say "Watch out!" with feeling.
#270: Buy them cool lunch boxes.
#271: Remain calm when you find your son's "Playboy".
#272: Remain calm when you find daughter's birth control.
#273: Your daughter's house will never be as clean as yours.
#274: Dance a tango at your child's wedding.
#275: Reminisce.
#276: Make their Halloween costumes.
#277: Play Scrabble with them.
#278: Play cards with them.
#279: Good news and bad: Anything can be a toy.
#280: Good news and bad: Before you know it, they're walking.
#281: Good news and bad: Before you know it, they're talking.
#282: Good news & bad: Before you know it they're in college.
#283: Keep a first-aid kit handy.
#284: You and Dad need a "Date Night".
#285: Let them make their own sundaes.
#286: Don't show their dates naked baby pictures.
#287: Traditions are important.
#288: Don't forget, each new kid is a tax deduction.
#289: Teach them to love libraries.
#290: Help start a stamp collection.
#291: Give pennies for piggy banks.
#292: Learn to love Trolls.
#293: All toys will end up in the bathtub sooner or later.
#294: Don't insist on combing your daughter's hair in public.
#295: Try to get some breakfast in them.
#296: Ice cream still solves most problems.
#297: You can't praise a kid too much.
#298: Buy them a good dictionary.
#299: Let them have an aquarium.
#300: Shiny thing in driveway is your kid's new retainer.
#301: Always look before sitting.
#302: Have a snowball fight.
#303: Hold hands while crossing.
#304: Let them visit where you work.
#305: No matter what, they'll bring home colds from school.
#306: Remember what happened to Joan Crawford.
#307: Don't weep when the school bus takes them away.
#308: Attend school plays.
#309: Don't yell at Little League umpires.
#310: Junior High is traumatic.
#311: Everyone tries to get out of gym class.
#312: Before disciplining -- decompress.
#313: They'll outgrow their shoes before the laces get dirty.
#314: Let them play dress up.
#315: Learn to throw a baseball.
#316: Learn to catch a boomerang.
#317: If they created it at camp, put it on display.
#318: Food fights happen.
#319: Get washable wallpaper.
#320: Don't let them call you by your first name.
#321: They DO look cutest when they're sleeping.
#322: Tell ghost stories.
#323: Kids love antiheroes.
#324: Remember how your mother felt about Mick Jagger.
#325: Celebrate Velcro!
#326: Record their singing.
#327: She's all grown up when she stretches your sweater.
#328: You know your son's grown up when he blushes.
#329: Hang a tire swing.
#330: They'll eat paper and dirt and survive.
#331: If all else fails, take them to the video arcade.
#332: Let them get their ears pierced.
#333: Monster truck rallies can be educational.
#334: Let them play cowboy.
#335: Discourage them from tying up the babysitter.
#336: Don't hold up other people's children as role models.
#337: When they fall asleep in the stroller, don't move them.
#338: Show them photos of yourself as a child.
#339: Let's hear it for stereo headphones.
#340: Cartoons are a good way to learn classical music.
#341: Don't kiss teens in front of their friends.
#342: No credit cards until they graduate.
#343: Check before believing Dad said it was okay.
#344: Murphy's Law is true.
#345: Feel free to remind them of your labor pains.
#346: Sometimes you'll have to tell little white lies.
#347: Remember that you used Cliff Notes too.
#348: At least comic books mean they're reading.
#349: Disposable diapers are worth the guilt.
#350: Don't buy infant clothes without snaps.
#351: Clothes that fit just right are too small.
#352: Everybody's a critic.
#353: Get call waiting.
#354: If you have teenagers, get your own phone.
#355: You know more about chaos theory than most physicists.
#356: Grass stains are Mother Nature's way of saying "Hi".
#357: Nervous breakdowns-Nature saying "Take it easy.".
#358: Arrange to sleep in at least once a month.
#359: Know when enough is enough.
#360: Don't mention their zits.
#361: When technology is ready, clone yourself.
#362: Let your daughter wear your high heels.
#363: Admire your son's mustache even if you can't see it.
#364: Discourage grown kid's from writing a tell-all book.
#365: You'll never stop wondering if you did a good job.

IN MY NEXT LIFE...

In my next life.... I want to be a bear. If you're a bear, you get to hibernate. You do nothing but sleep for six months. I could deal with that.
Before you hibernate, you're supposed to eat yourself stupid. I could deal with that, too.

If you're a bear, you birth your children (who are the size of walnuts) while you're sleeping and wake to partially grown, cute cuddly cubs. I could definitely deal with that.

If you're a mama bear, everyone knows you mean business. You swat anyone who bothers your cubs. If your cubs get out of line, you swat them too. I could deal with that.

If you're a bear, your mate EXPECTS you to wake up growling. He EXPECTS that you will have hairy legs and excess body fat.


Yup ..... Gonna be a bear.

Group Photo

Why is it so hard for 3 little people to look at the camera and smile.  All mama wants is a good spring time photo.

Let's try again....oh almost Caden closed his eyes

One more time...No Katie he will not touch you, I promise

OK, now the camera's crooked. 

Capturing "time in a bottle" is hard, maybe it should be pass me the bottle!

How many more days until Spring Break?

Mama needs a mental health day.   
How many more days until Spring Break....

I really need to hang out with my friends and do this

But I must pick up these now, BECAUSE

   Mama is tired of walking on land mines....

A list, 3 naked ladies and a recipe for Mardi Gras

Fun Facts about Mardi Gras

1.  Mardi Gras is French for "Fat Tuesday"
2.  In 1699, a French explorer, Iberville, brought Mardi Gras to America when he arrived at a spot about 60 miles south of present-day New Orleans. His native country had celebrated Mardi Gras for centuries, so in honor of his local traditions, he named the spot Point du Mardi Gras.
3.  1837 is the first documented New Orleans parade
4.  In 1857, the Krewe of Comus was formed, and the term "krewe" was added to the Mardi Gras lingo. Comus started many of the traditions we know today, such as having themed parades with floats and holding after-parade balls.
5. Mardi Gras is a legal holiday in New Orleans, Louisiana.
 

6.  the ever-popular beaded necklaces, so ubiquitously associated with Mardi Gras today, didn't come into play until the 1880s

7.The trinkets that are thrown during a parade are called "throws". These throws most often consist of plastic beaded necklaces, plastic cups, and doubloons

8.  The most common phrase shouted by parade-goers is "Throw me somethin', Mister!"

9.  On Bourbon Street, women will often trade a flash of bare breasts for a bunch of beautiful beads.

10.  Did you know that purple, green and gold are the traditional colors of Mardi Gras?

   Purple represents justice, green is faith and gold symbolizes power

11.  The recipient of the King Cake baby is King for the Day and will have good luck for the year.


Spicy Cajun Jambalaya

1 Tablespoon olive oil
8 ounces of boneless, skinless chicken breast cut into 1 1/2 pieces
1 large green bell pepper
1 small onion
2 stalks of celery, diced
2 garlic cloves crushed
1 28-ounce can diced tomatoes with juice
1 8 ounce can tomato sauce
1 cup chicken broth
2 bay leaves
1/2 teaspoon dried thyme
1 teaspoon dried oregano
1/4-1/2 teaspoon cayenne pepper
3/4 cup brown rice
1 pound medium raw shrimp, shelled and deveined
2 Tablespoons finely chopped parsley

Combine all ingredients except shrimp and parsley in 4-quart slow cooker, stir to mix well. Cover and cook on high for 4 hours or low for 8.
Add shrimp and parsley and cook for an additional 10 minutes, Season with salt and pepper. 
Serve with crusty garlic bread to sop up the sauce....

Enjoy!  Laissez les bons temps roulez! (Let the good times roll)

My personality disorder

I think every mom has a personality disorder.  Here are some of the ladies that are currently within my residence. 

Exhibit A:  June Cleaver

June comes in full swing whenever someone says, " I be over in a few minutes to drop off  _________."  Then we hide all the evidence that someone lives here.  Please don't look in the dishwasher, oven, microwave or even the bathtub it may be cramped packed with crap stuff.  And while I am at it, let me whip up appetizers, chill the wine, break out the juice boxes, put on my pearls and lipstick   Perfection!


Exhibit B:  Eunice

Eunice comes out in the car most of the time.  Especially when my kids are acting like they just got paroled and they need to be scared into mutes, so I may figure out where the heck I am going.  She may even come out all on here own, thus leaving daddy to deal with the nonsense and mommy to take a time out. 


Exhibit C:  Joy

I so believe we all need a little Joy in our hearts.  Joy doesn't deal with nonsense, she doesn't deal with anyone messing with her husband or her children.  Joys the one who throws the lid on crazy town and moves on.  She's my favorite!

                  (turn off the player at the botttom of blog to hear video, the sound is not that great)

That's What I Like About Texas !

 The Rules of Texas


1. Pull your droopy pants up. You look like an idiot.

2. Let's get this straight...it's called a "gravel road." I drive a pickup truck because I want to. No matter how slow you drive, you're going to get dust on your fancy car, so get out of the way.

3. They are cattle and oil wells. That's what they smell like to you. They smell like money to us. If you don't like the smell, it's helpful to know that I-20 and I-10 go east and west; I-35 goes north and south...please pick one.

4. So you have a $60,000 car. We're impressed. We have $250,000 cotton strippers that are driven only 3 weeks a year.

5. So every person in every pickup waves. It's called being friendly and we hope you understand the concept.

6. If that cell phone rings while a bunch of doves are coming in, we WILL shoot it out of your hand. Hopefully, you won't have it up to your ear at that time!

7. Yep, we eat catfish and crawfish. If you really want sushi and caviar, it's available at the corner bait shop.

8. The "opener" refers to the first day of deer season. It's a religious holiday closest to the first of November.

9. Texas men open doors for women. That is applied to all women, regardless of age and appearance.

10. No, there's no "vegetarian special" on the menu. Order steak. Or you can order a Chef's Salad and pick off the two pounds of ham and turkey.

11.  Chili was born and bred in San Antonio, and real chili never met a bean.

2. You bring "coke" into my house, it better be brown, wet and served over lots of ice. You bring "Mary Jane" into my house, she better be cute, know how to shoot, drive a truck and have long hair.

13. College and high school football are important here

14. Yes, we have golf courses. But don't hit the water hazards...it spooks the fish.

15. Colleges? Try Texas A&M University, Texas Tech,and  the University of Texas (or any other one in our state). They come outta there with an education, plus a love for God and country and they still wave at passing pickups when they come home for the holidays.

16. We have more folks in the Army, Navy, Air Force and Marines than any other state. So "Don't Mess with Texas." If you do, you will get whupped by the best.

17. Always remember what our great Governor, Sam Houston, once said: "Texas can make it without the United States, but the United States can't make it without Texas!"

18.  By federal law, Texas is the only state in the U.S. That can fly its flag at the same height as the U.S. Flag. Think about that for a second. You fly the Stars and Stripes at 20 feet in Maryland, California, or Maine, and your state flag, whatever it is, goes at 17 feet. You fly the Stars and Stripes in front of Klein Oak High or anyplace else at 20 feet, the Lone Star flies at the same height - 20 feet. Do you know why? Because it is the only state that was a Republic before it became a state.


Things you need to know about living in Texas


1. A possum (or an armadillo) is a flat animal that sleeps in the middle of the road.

2. There are 5,000 types of snakes and 4,998 of them live in Texas.

3. There are 10,000 types of spiders. All 10,000 of them live in Texas.

4. If it grows, it'll stick ya. If it crawls, it'll bite'cha.

5. 'Onced' and 'Twiced' are words.

6. It is not a shopping cart, it's a buggy.

7. 'Jaw-P?' means, 'Did y'all go to the bathroom?

8. People actually grow and eat okra.

9. 'Fixinto' is one word.

10. There is no such thing as 'lunch.' There is only dinner and then there is supper.

11. Iced tea is appropriate for all meals, and you start drinking it when you're two. We do like a little tea with our sugar.

12. Backwards and forwards means, 'I know everything about you.'

13. The word 'jeet' is actually a phrase meaning, 'Did you eat?'

14. You don't have to wear a watch, because it doesn't matter what time it is. You work until you're done or it's too dark to see.

15. You don't PUSH buttons, you MASH 'EM.

16. 'No.Jew?' is a common response to the question, 'Did you bring any beer?'

17. You measure distance in minutes.

18. You switch from heat to A/C in the same day.

19. All the festivals across the state are named after a fruit, vegetable, grain, insect or animal.

20. You know what a 'DAWG' is.

21. You carry jumper cables in your car --- for your OWN car.

22. You only own five spices: salt, pepper, fajita, Tabasco and Ketchup.

23. The local papers cover national and international news on one page, but require 6 pages for local gossip and high school football.

24. You think that the first day of deer season is a national holiday.

25. You find 100 degrees Fahrenheit 'a bit warm.'

26. You know all four seasons: Almost summer, summer, still summer, and Christmas.

27. Going to Wal-Mart is a favorite past time known as goin' Wal-Martin' or 'off to Wally World.'

28. You describe the first cool snap (below 70 degrees) as good stew weather.

29. Fried catfish is the other white meat.

30. We don't need no dang driver's ed. If our mama says we can drive, we can drive,dag- nabbit.

31. "All y'all" is more than one person.

. Texans in Heaven


Gabriel went to the Lord and said, "I have to talk to you. We have some Texans up here who are causing problems…they're swinging on the Pearly Gates, my horn is missing, and they are wearing T-shirts instead of their robes.
There's barbecue sauce and Picante sauce all over everything, especially their T-shirts; their dogs are riding in the chariots and chasing the sheep; they are wearing baseball caps and cowboy hats instead of their halos.

They refuse to keep the stairway to Heaven clean, and their boots are marking and scuffing up the halls of Wisdom. There are watermelon seeds and tortilla chip crumbs all over the place. Some of them are walking around with just one wing; and they insist on bringing their horses with them."

The Lord said, "Texans are Texans, Gabriel. Heaven is home to all of my children. If you want to know about real problems, call the Devil."

So Gabriel calls the Devil who answers the phone and says, "Hello---hold on a minute."

When he returns to the phone the Devil says, "O.K., I'm back. What can I do for you? “

Gabriel replied, "I just want to know what kind of problems you are having down there with the Texans."

The Devil said, "Hold on again. I need to check on something."

After about 5 minutes the Devil returned to the phone and said. "I'm back. Now what was the question?"

Gabriel said, "What kind of problems are you having down there with the Texans?"

The Devil said, "Man, I don't believe this...hold on."

This time the Devil was gone 15 minutes and when he returns he says, "I'm sorry, Gabriel, I can't talk right now. Those Texans have put out the fire and are trying to install air conditioning..."


GOD BLESS TEXAS